Good Daughter
by June Nash
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Raised my children, now they’re grown
Husband’s passed, now on my own
Nights are quiet, days are too
Nothing left, of use, to do
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Mama, she is slowing down
How long will she be aroun’?
Afraid she’ll die, all alone
She’s a bit accident prone
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Daughter says come live with her
Didn’t want to, now not sure
I’d like to watch grandkids grow
Hate to be a burden though
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Mom nursed me when I was young
Twisted life, look how it swung
She can rest under my arm
I’ll persuade her with my charm
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As time passed, decisions made
With good daughter mama stayed
Times, they were not always good
None knew why, nor understood
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My daughter’s sweet and caring
Won’t burden her by airing
Petty gripes about my state
Should not have come, now too late
.
Gave mom our room on first floor
Husband liked things as before
Children gripe, ‘cause can’t make noise
To appease, buy both more toys
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Sweet dear, spoils the kids
Catering to husbands bids
I can help, perhaps I should
By dropping hints. That’d be good!
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Mother dear, tries to be nice
Interferes, but should think thrice
It’s my home, but whose in charge
Those little hints, getting large
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As time passed, a peace was made
With good daughter mama stayed
Times, they were often quite good
None knew why, nor understood
.
Talked to daughter, heart to heart
Began with a bumpy start
Talked about my feelings true
Asked her advice, what to do
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Mama and me now are friends
For way we acted, made amends
When Mom watches kids it’s great
Let’s spouse and me have a date
.
Safe and secure on my own
In daughters house, now my home
Never thought I’d come to stay
But glad my kids led the way
.
Times were often bittersweet
When mom’s will and mine did meet
I gained a lot ‘cause she came
Though helping her was my aim
.
As time passes, life must fade
With good daughter mama stayed
Times, they were often quite good
None knew why, nor understood
Very nice and relatable!
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Hi Chuck! Thanks for the feedback! But I am curious as to why you feel this change is warranted. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the feedback, but I am interested in the reasoning behind the it.
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June: that’s just beautiful. I will make one technical comment. Don’t do this:
Mama, she is slowing down
How long will she be aroun’?
“down” and “around” are close enough in rhyme for a poem in this style to be left as they are found. Leave the “d” on the end of “around.”
The rest of the poem is just fine, and as a whole it’s absolutely wonderful.
Chuck
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